“Don’t talk to me EITHER!” screamed my 3-year-old in retaliation. Seated in her car seat as we pulled away from the store and headed home, she struggled to express her emotions and gain some control over the situation: “I’m not going to be happy anymore!”

With such a catchy name, most people think of the “terrible twos” as a difficult age to deal with. In my house, parenting a 2-year-old was cake compared to her impending 3 year mark. You don’t have to be a child psychologist to recognize that at that age, kids are struggling with a flood of emotions they don’t yet understand. Coupled with their ever-growing desire for independence, the results can be explosive.

But that’s nothing new, most people know the problems associated with having a toddler-turned-preschooler around the house and the difficulties of parenting one: The hot-cold emotional outbursts, the boundary testing, the pickiness… to name a few.

What’s the scariest thing about raising a child, then? For me, it’s the frightening mirrored effect of seeing your own behaviors reflected back at you. I’m not talking about her repetition of specific phrases I tend to use on a regular basis (to the point of making me realize just how awkward they really are) or the extreme politeness and overuse of “sorry” (because she just doesn’t understand the appropriate time and place for apologies, or because she observes my overuse). Rather, I’m talking about HOW she expresses herself and HOW she deals with stress and a loss of control. That is, all the behaviors she’s picked up from me that go beyond any active parenting attempts on my part.

There’s just something about seeing your own behavior mirrored back at you that makes the seemingly natural and normal seem so unnatural, awkward, and downright scary. In some cases, she mimics me so well, she has my voice, pitch and intonation down pat. It’s absolutely frightening. Do I really sound so childish or is her behavior the child-version of my behavior?

On the plus side, the forced self-reflection that comes with parenting and raising a toddler/preschooler may very well help me deal with my own emotions. It certainly makes me think twice about how I react and behave in times of stress (and around her in general). Hopefully, that sort of self-reflection comes with positive changes for both of us. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.